Today I had outpatient surgery to insert my port. Ouch. My bandages look weird and they’re really bothering me. And they’re very visible, right on the front of my neck and chest. I guess one reason they’re bothering me is because it is such an obvious physical reminder that this is all about to get very real. And also, it hurts. I need to get over that and toughen up I suppose.
We received a few additional details about the pathology report this afternoon. We knew I had grade 3 cancer, which is the most aggressive and fastest growing. In addition, today we learned that the type of cancer I have is called Inflammatory Breast Cancer. It’s very rare and only accounts for 1-4% of all breast cancers. In fact, it is so rare, that a few of my doctors have never actually seen anyone who has it.
So, given this new information, and the fact that this type of breast cancer is so rare, we have decided to seek treatment at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, TX. Please pray that I get an appointment quickly. I will update as we get more information concerning this new direction for treatment.
While this was not the news we wanted hear, I still believe God is in control and my miracle is still coming! I sent this email to my family earlier and I wanted to share it with all of you as well.
I want to make sure, that despite the news we have received, you all know I am still confident that God will take care of me. I still have the same peace I did before I heard the results of the pathology report and I know He is still the same God.
Gena (my little sister) has been used in a BIG way throughout this ordeal and has given me so much hope through her words of encouragement. Each time she sends something it seems to be exactly what Patrick and I need to hear at that moment. Last night as I thought about the facts of IBC, fear started creeping in and I almost felt discouraged, but right before I went to bed I got a text from Gena telling me to check my email. I did and it was perfect.
She recounted the story of Joshua and Caleb in Numbers 13 and pointed out that Joshua and Caleb entered the Promised Land because of their attitude and their faith. They were not in denial. They didn’t try to gloss over the facts and downplay the reality of the situation, it was grim and they knew they had a battle in front of them. They reported exactly what they saw, (the facts) but they never questioned if God was big enough (their faith). The facts did not affect their faith.
Facts are facts, but God is God. It is what it is, but He is who He is. I’m not in denial. I know what I’m facing. But I’m choosing to focus on faith, not facts. It worked for them and I believe it will work for me because I serve the same God they did.
Doctors are wonderful and I’m grateful for the excellent care I have received thus far, but they only know so much. God is the author of my story and the healer of my body. I still believe it is all going to be okay.